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Our First Attempt
I’ll
never forget the day a dear friend called to tell me that she saw a
television segment on embryo donation. My jaw dropped to the
floor, I couldn’t believe it. My husband and I had recently been
told we would never have a biological child, and of course, we were
devastated. We were never told that embryo donation was an option…
we had never even heard of it! We were intrigued, to say the
least. This sounded like the perfect choice for us. Now
this was early 2003, mind you, and when you surfed the internet on
embryo donation, you might have gotten about one page of hits, whereas
today, there are well over 75 pages of website hits on the topic.
So, I posted a simple question on a bulletin board asking if anyone
knew of any clinics in the Houston area that offered embryo
donation. Luckily, a wonderful woman in the U.S. military
stationed in Italy, replied that many clinics offer it, and I should
just call around. She had 8 embryos that she was trying to
donate, but was having a difficult time because none of the clinics or
organizations wanted to ship internationally. We struck up a
friendship via email, sent each other photographs, and just really
enjoyed talking to each other. About one month later, out of the
blue, she offered her embryos to us! Needless to say, we were
thrilled, shocked, excited, and amazed with her generous offer.
It was an answered prayer. Of course we said, “YES!”
Then an incredible journey took place. We couldn’t find anyone to
ship the embryos, and the clinic in Europe was emphatic that we should
come and get them ourselves. Many months on the phone and email
with the clinics, the airlines, the airports, the TSA (airport
security), the CDC (need to file a form to carry embryos into the
country), you name it, we called or emailed them. We brought a
dry-shipper from our clinic fully charged on the plane with us.
That was a feat in and of itself!!! Even after all the emails
(and we brought printouts with us to the airport as proof that we had
permission to carry the shipper on the plane with us), we were still
almost denied access. You can’t imagine all the stares we
received lugging this bulky shipper around with us. We even
overheard one woman say,
“I think they have their little babies in there.” Finally,
we made it to London. But still, we had to travel several hours
on a train, a subway, and a cab to get to the clinic there. Once
we had the precious cargo in hand, the traveling got a little
scarier. Our parental instincts kicked into high gear...
Protect the embryos at all cost! Getting on an underground subway
with a bulky dry-shipper during rush hour was not our idea of fun, but
we finally made it back safe and sound!
After several false starts… our contract wasn’t completed, insufficient
endometrial lining, hysteroscopy to remove a small fibroid on the
lining… we finally started the cycle that would be our first
attempt. However, a week before the scheduled transfer date, my
dear grandmother was very ill in the hospital in Georgia. I had
to be there. They knew she was going to pass away at any moment,
and I wanted to say my last goodbyes. The day my grandmother
passed away, the embryos were being thawed. It was surreal.
Seven of the eight embryos made the thaw! Each day, we were given
a report on the embryos, how well they were growing, and the
grade. We had some beautiful embryos. I flew home after the
funeral, one day before my transfer. We still had seven beautiful
embryos, and 2 were grade-A blasts. We transferred those two, and
the rest were going to be frozen again if they made it to blast.
A week later, we received a letter from the lab director stating that
none of the embryos made it. We lost our dreams of a second
attempt for possible siblings if our first attempt was
successful. We were very distraught over the news. We
anxiously awaited our first pregnancy test… Negative. How could
this be? We have this wonderful story of how we met our donors,
our interesting and exciting trip to London to pick up the embryos…
this couldn’t be! These embryos were meant to be with us, we were
meant to be parents, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way…
What can we say? We were blessed. We met a wonderful family
that we still maintain in contact with, whom we will forever be
grateful to. We learned so much from our first experience with
donor embryos… transfer cycles, medication protocols, clinic
requirements, contract negotiations, etc. And yes, we had
heartbreak and disappointment too. BUT… we had faith and grace to
get us through it all, AND our love for each other grew stronger
too. We ARE blessed.
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About embryo donation stories: This story and the other
stories you will find at the Miracles Waiting website are contributed
by the authors, and we do not verify the details or content for
accuracy. They are offered on this
site for informational and entertainment purposes only. They are not a
substitute for medical or legal consultation.
The Miracles Waiting, Inc. Team
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